After copious amounts of head-thudding, I finally managed to persuade a spreadsheet to show what I want. It's too big to fit on one page, and refuses to print in landscape mode, but at least the thumb is in the right place and it's roughly mitten-shaped with the pointy bit at the top where it belongs.
*sigh*
Now to attempt knitting from it. If that works, I'll share.
If not, it's back to the head pounding. At least I've gotten good at that.
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