Saturday, January 14, 2012

Madman to the Rescue! (As Always...)

I had to go to work this morning, because retail and weekends-off have nothing in common.  Madman graciously started my car for me as he was out doing chores, letting it warm up while I finished getting ready.
Now, I seldom bother to zip my coat.  It's uncomfortable to drive with it zipped up, and since it's a quick dash from the house to the car, I usually just hold it closed for the 30 seconds necessary.
But this morning it was cold and, with a windchill firmly in the negative, I took the precaution of zipping up and donning gloves, knowing I was going to have to clean ice off the car before I headed out.
I chipped and scraped and grumbled the icy crust off, then hopped into the relative warmth of the car, reaching for the coat zipper as I sat down.  After fumbling for a moment, I took my glove off for better dexterity, and fumbled some more.
The zipper pull was missing.
I believe I said some bad words at this point.
I tried tugging on the zippy-runner thingy to no avail.  I tried pulling the top of the coat apart, hoping the zippy-runner thingy would just slide down on its own.
There were a few more bad words.  They were louder, too.
I finally located the zipper pull in my lap, but it was too bent to stay in the little hole where it belonged.  I managed to pull the zipper open about 2 inches, but it wouldn't go further.  I needed 3 hands - two to hold the zipper above and below the pull, for leverage, and one to tug with.
I was short a hand.  Luckily Madman has some, so I trudged back through the snow and went in the house.

"Sweetie?"  I called from the door.  "Can you help me a minute?"
"Sure," he replied.  "What do you need?" he asked as he came toward me.
"Will you please get me out of my coat?  I'm stuck."
He had the good grace to only laugh once.  Love that guy.
He promptly zipped it up, losing the precious 2 inches I'd gained out in the car.  I'd been figuring that, worst case scenario, I could (with his help) pull the coat off over my head, but with it zipped all the way up, I was going to lose some skin off my chin.
While I tried to keep tension on the zipper, he tugged and re-inserted the pull and tugged and re-inserted the pull and tugged, until finally finally it zipped all the way down.
By this time, I was courting being late for work, so a big "Thank you!  Thank you!", a quick kiss, and I dashed out the door and out to the car.
I arrived with zero time to spare, instead of the comfortable 5-10 minutes I try for.
I'm still trying to figure what would have been said if I'd been late and my only excuse was "Sorry.  I got stuck in my coat."


Angie said...

*Giggle* (laughing with you, not at you)

sophanne said...

And now the next time a first grader at school has a similar problem, I will confidently be able to say "don't worry it can happen to anyone.". : )

kmkat said...

LOL! I have been in the same predicament, but with a fleece vest instead of a coat. Found rescue in same place you did. What would we do if we lived alone? Bless them (mostly).

Laurie said...

Yegods. Life has at it again.

Bullwinkle said...

/snicker I totally wondered where you were going with this -- I mean, really, who hasn't been stuck in their coat? I don't think I've ever had to explain it to anyone ;)

Anonymous said...

My zipper was replaced with a paperclip years ago.

Dorothy said...

You always get yourself in the most amazing situations! But then, we can always count on you to brighten up our day. Glad you had a good outcome. It's fortunate you didn't have to call the fire department to reduce you!

Cookie said...

Thank goodness for the MadMan!

=Tamar said...

Scissors to the rescue. A coat that gets stuck that way is toast anyway. Unless it's down-filled, then the scissors are used more carefully, to snip the zipper tape.